Once upon a time.

Here

Fragments of my fears resulted from all the summer evenings on the front yard of my Mother’s sister’s house 4 hours away from my town.

I’d sit down with my Mother, her sister (my aunt) and her daughter beside the Hibiscus shrubberies and listen to repetitive counsels on the importance of a ‘good’ life partner.

When I was young, my Mother would tell me bedtime stories – Gulliver’s Travels, Little Red Riding Hood, Buddha etc. She would sing lullabies too on many occasions.

Eventually the stories stopped as I grew and they were replaced by ‘vital’ advices every now and then.

It was on a winter night when I sat on the floor facing her on the bed that she told me a story just like the Little Red Riding hood except here, I wore the Red Cape.

She elaborated on the big bad wolf and how I should turn around and run if I ever encountered one.

My Fear then substantiated because I was already in Love with the big bad wolf, and he was beautiful.

Kiss Me Goodnight.

Here

Whoever said there is only one side to a story said it wrong. So wrong, that nobody said it.

I Love sleeping. I Love entering into a world where life is touched-up perfect.

Where like in the movies, even if bad occurs, it is thwarted daringly.

Such are my nightly dreams.

Nightmares occur too but I Love my dreams and I Love it for the pleasant ones alone.

But lately, sleep has been eluding me.

It is the stress about Tuesday.

He leaves and I am terrified of an impending month without his presence.

At least, this time so.

As much as I wish he didn’t have to go, now I can’t wait for him to leave.

I am anxious about the goodbye hug and to get over with the overbearing emotions.

So then I can finally go to classes, write my notes, come back home.

So that I don’t have to constantly think about the frightening goodbye.

Accept that the moment is over, and SLEEP peacefully.

Alone, yet peacefully throughout this cold cold December.

I hate Goodbyes.

HERE

Have you ever been content with life, yet sad at the same time?

Yes you have.

Do you like that feeling?

No you don’t.

I play the same songs over and over again because it gives me a certain kind of satisfaction.

I like the monotony in life. Predictable is always safer.

But that doesn’t mean I am boring. Or perhaps I am, but I have followed my impulses too on more occasions than one and the outcomes have turned into memories.

I don’t classify them to good or bad because that is unfair.

So even when I whimper about a static life, chances are, I’m just trying to sound 'cooler'.

Because I don’t love anything more than knowing He is always here, with me.

Affectionate, Egoistic, Protective, offensive, Funny.

But always here.

And now he is leaving for 5 prolonged weeks, giving me all the time to come home straight after class.

Ph should be delighted.