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3.8.13

Fighting.


I’m filled with emptiness. I’m laughing, talking, eating, sleeping, writing, but that’s all I do. I have nothing to look forward to, I feel like I’m losing my best friend and I try not to be sad about it. I try so hard, my heart cannot take it. I know I will never lose him, but I can’t have him too. He is there, but almost never here. I want to feel like I matter, like I mattered before. I want to matter to me. I want to know who I am. I want to fall asleep and dream of a better life, and never wake up.  I think I’m losing myself. 

I want to know what it feels like  to be a stronger person. 

13 comments:

  1. "I know I will never lose him, but I can’t have him too." -- Aww, I know how painful this is. :-(

    I'm so sorry that you have to feel this way, dear. <3 hugs <3

    ~Irene

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  2. I don't know if I have ever related to a post on blogger as much as I understand this. I hope it all works out for you.

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  3. Nothing scares me more than feeling as if nothing really matters. I'd rather break into a thousand little pieces than be numb like that.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

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  4. keep strong
    sending lots of love xx

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  5. How are you hon?
    Hope things are well, much love to you xx

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  6. or realizing yourself?

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  7. I believe the phase after a beautiful relationship is that of discovering oneself, beyond a referential definition, that is the true definition.

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  8. Wow. This is so stunning and real. I could feel your loss in the pit of my stomach. Beautiful writing.

    Sweet Apple Lifestyle

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  9. Been there, done that. The biggest mistake I did was to push away those who still cared at that dark time.
    Take care hon. It'll be okay x

    Hopelessly Hopeful
    http://welcometomypartypeople.blogspot.in/

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  10. i know exactly what you mean. i'm beginning to feel like that myself. hang in there, sweetie, you're stronger than you think, x

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  11. To be where you are right now is strength. You are strong even though life tries to make things hard.

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  12. I'm sure this phase has passed.. Hope you will return soon..
    Cheers!

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  13. Some people are destined to meet for a while and not to stay with you forever.The sooner you realize it the better you can cop with this this depression.

    Awesome blog.Following you for more from you.Follow me back.

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These make me smile!