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| SOURCE |
Tonight I’ll
be talking to my Father about the vacation that I’m planning on going with KS
and his brother. I need his cash and he is not likely to send me off with two
boys that are ‘bad influence’. I need a credible excuse (read lie) to deliver,
and I'm praying that he doesn’t ask for too many details, he isn’t all that
gullible of a parent. So also not my Mother. After that I need to tell Ph and
I’m apprehensive about her reaction. She knows about KS and I and pretends like
she doesn’t. Because she wants me to believe that she trusts me. After I told
her we were only friends and she stopped questioning. Even when there have been
numerous instances where she has got a whiff of our liaison. Like one morning
she realized I wasn’t home when I had sneaked out to spend the night with Him on
the eve of his 21st birthday. It's like we are both waiting for an intervention
of some kind, meanwhile faking everything till we get there. A small part of me
wishes for her to she ask me just one more time so that I can tell her the
truth, of the magnitude of his existence in my life. While the other prominent
part is not prepared for any speed bump. Not Yet. And perhaps lying is easier
than the possibilities of having being told that this Love is a mistake. My heart
wouldn't be able to bear it. You would know.
