Hopes underneath the litle lies.

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Tonight I’ll be talking to my Father about the vacation that I’m planning on going with KS and his brother. I need his cash and he is not likely to send me off with two boys that are ‘bad influence’. I need a credible excuse (read lie) to deliver, and I'm praying that he doesn’t ask for too many details, he isn’t all that gullible of a parent. So also not my Mother. After that I need to tell Ph and I’m apprehensive about her reaction. She knows about KS and I and pretends like she doesn’t. Because she wants me to believe that she trusts me. After I told her we were only friends and she stopped questioning. Even when there have been numerous instances where she has got a whiff of our liaison. Like one morning she realized I wasn’t home when I had sneaked out to spend the night with Him on the eve of his 21st birthday. It's like we are both waiting for an intervention of some kind, meanwhile faking everything till we get there. A small part of me wishes for her to she ask me just one more time so that I can tell her the truth, of the magnitude of his existence in my life. While the other prominent part is not prepared for any speed bump. Not Yet. And perhaps lying is easier than the possibilities of having being told that this Love is a mistake. My heart wouldn't be able to bear it. You would know.

Of Vodkas and lies.

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Vodka has never been a friend to me. Nothing good has materialized from our numerous mingling. But every time I think about her, who I thought was a dear friend, I prefer some more Vodka. When I woke up on his bed with a pounding headache, the text messages on my phone spelt trouble. The ride home seemed longer than usual; perhaps it was my mind delaying the displeasing intervention. Ph had already left for work sparing me from delivering an explanation to her.Relieved as I was, it infuriated me as well. There is nothing more despondent than having to lie about something that you are proud of. It’s not the Vodka or the hangover, but Him. But the backbone of my life is a circle.Welcome aboard.