Read as you please!

19.11.12

Once upon a dream



HERE


Silence.
I lay next to my mother in a dark room.
I expected a pandemonium of sorts and all she gave me was silence.
I traced it back to June where we went for that trip because I had no idea how long it had been.
And she had no idea who was the father.
I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to ask.
But we lay there in dark silence, time was all we had.
Father was in the next room and he said something about me being a ‘shame’.
My words were vague but I did mention I Love him.
I fell off the cliff and had two miscarriages, this was my first success.
Mother was saying it to my aunt.
Phoney congratulations pouring in as I wasn’t married.
A tinge of embarrassment ran through my veins.
I woke up at twilight and I thought,
If dreams really mean something, what did mine mean?
Silence yet again, but a peaceful one.
Thank God for the present.

15.11.12

I hate Goodbyes.



HERE
Have you ever been content with life, yet sad at the same time?
Yes you have.
Do you like that feeling?
No you don’t.
I play the same songs over and over again because it gives me a certain kind of satisfaction.
I like the monotony in life. Predictable is always safer.
But that doesn’t mean I am boring. Or perhaps I am, but I have followed my impulses too on more occasions than one and the outcomes have turned into memories.
I don’t classify them to good or bad because that is unfair.
So even when I whimper about a static life, chances are, I’m just trying to sound 'cooler'.
Because I don’t love anything more than knowing He is always here, with me.
Affectionate, Egoistic, Protective, offensive, Funny.
But always here.
And now he is leaving for 5 prolonged weeks, giving me all the time to come home straight after class.
Ph should be delighted.